YO! ZMK Knits!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

A few non-knitting related things. . .

1. IKEA is evil. I don't mean this in a good way. I believe that store is evil incarnate.

Case in point: I was looking at their website tonight, and every item I may have been interested in cannot be purchased over the 'net. You can only buy it in the store. Which means you have to go in, find what you are looking for, and be forced to go through every single department in the store like a frickin' zombie before you can get to the checkout, whereas you will have to wait in line with every other consumer zombie to get out of there. IKEA is not a quickie in-out store. You have to put aside half your frickin' day to go there, and while you're there, you might as well pick up a few more things to make the trip worth while, etc., etc.

See? Evil.

I tried to love them, being the lover of all things Svenska, but I have to draw the line at them. Gimme H&M (even though they are cronically understaffed and probably have the same idea -- keep 'em in here as long as possible, and they'll find more cheap stuff to buy).

2. Pee on the seat. Yes, I am obsessed. There is still a Princess Tinkle Tush at work, and I thought I knew who she was, but now I think I was wrong. I want to know a few things from my readers, though:

a. Do you hover or do you sit down on the seat? If you hover, why do you do it? I mean, really, it's your ass; it's not like you have to eat off the seat. Or off your ass. If someone else is eating off your ass, you may just want to shower first. I really think that, unless you have open sores on your butt, you're not going to catch anything from the seat. Unless someone has been wiping their parts on the seat, which I doubt. A wise man once said to me, "It takes a lot to fuck you (meaning: a person) up". And the stories about getting crabs from a public toilet? Bullshit. It's what your significant other says when s/he doesn't want you to know s/he's been screwing around on you.

b. If you hover, do you at least wipe the seat afterwards? Because, if you don't, that's just disgusting and rude. If there is anything to be afraid of from a public toilet seat, it's because of people like you. Don't you realize that? Can't you just put a layer of t.p. on the seat and sit on THAT instead? Or carry a can of Lysol with you, spray and wipe?

I'm really getting tired of the germ-o-phobia in this country (coupled with the extreme opposite - people who don't care and cough out in the open, or snorf all their phlegm into the back of their throat). I wash my hands after I use the bathroom, with soap, rubbing my hands together under the running water through a verse of "Happy Birthday", k? I sneeze into my armpit or arm crook to avoid getting germs on my hands. I refuse, however, to hover and piss all over a toilet seat because I'm afraid of germs, and I refuse to panic over those emails that go around saying, "Don't put your purse on the table! It has more germs on it than your shoes!"

I remember reading a story about a new mom who would go crazy washing her baby's pacifier every time he dropped it. Once she was washing it, and heard a noise behind her. The baby was sucking on the wheels to his stroller.

He lived.

You know why?

Because it takes a lot to fuck you up.

Oh, and to those people who feel compelled to wipe poop on the toilet walls, or throw unwrapped tampons on the floor: seek professional help, please.

Good night!


Blogger bitterknitter said...

I hear you on Ikea...also H&M has sucked me in more time than I'd like to admit :)

I sit on the toilet seat. There are a few places that I have hovered, but it has to be pretty bad...the movie theater by the commons comes to mind though.

I think this might be the first time I've commented on your blog so Hi *waves*!

8:43 AM  
Blogger 3goodrats said...

I am SO with you on the toilet seat issue! These are the same people who use anti-bacterial everything, which just makes us less resistant to germs in the long run. But yeah, if it weren't for them, toilet seats wouldn't be so dirty in the first place.

9:37 AM  
Blogger ZMrK said...

Wow... I think I just fell deeper in love with you!

5:22 PM  
Blogger karmellah said...

ever hear of salad tossing? People do eat off peoples asses. LOL

7:51 PM  
Blogger Batty said...

I had the same problem at my last job. Who knew women could miss? It's gross, gross, gross. The other stuff... ditto.

A little dirt won't kill you, but then there's just plain rude.

8:33 PM  
Blogger Sachi said...

I think I love you. But not the way zmrk loves you. Just, you know, home girl love.

1:45 AM  
Anonymous Bobbi said...

I sit on the seat! LOL with with you on this one, it's your ass. First off hovering is hard, and only necessary if you're using and outhouse or port-a-potty. Second if you do hover you need to wipe the seat down and even if you do, you're contributing to the grossness. People are weird. Why doesn't she just make one of the fake seat covers using toliet paper?

12:37 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home