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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Guilty Pleasure Wednesday!

I feel kind of bad saying "guilty pleasures" because I believe that if it gives you pleasure, and is legal/moral, then what is there to feel guilty about?

Anyway, today is my guilty pleasure Wednesday!

First of all, I got this book out of the Boston Public Library. I had Pamela Des Barres' "I'm With the Band: Confessions of a Groupie" when it first came out (20 years ago! Damn I'm old!) and thought it was a hilarious read. This book promises more of the same, except she gets the confessions out of other groupies, including the fabulous Tura Satana. Love her!

Then I had a slice a pizza the size of my head at Bostone Pizza, and then bought a box of Reeses 100 Calorie Snacks. Reeses could make a product called Shit on a Stick, but if it had peanut butter in it, I'd buy it. It's got pb-flavored cereal bits, chocolate cereal bits, Reeses pieces and peanut butter chips. It took care of my peanut butter tooth. Does anyone else get specific sweet teeth, like peanut butter tooth (or sweet/savory, I guess).

Lastly, tonight is the only TV show that I watch in real-time -- America's Next Top Model! Part of me thinks I should hate this show, for several obvious reasons, but it's so ridiculous that I hate it.

There's only been one episode so far, which was the selection of the final 13. Here's my opinions of them.

Ambreal -- pretty girl, and if I remember correctly, she seems like fun. She had some wonky ensemble at the auditions -- it looked like she cut her jeans off from the knees down, took off the jeans, and put the knee-to-cuff portion back on. I found it a little weird, but it made me remember her. I also think she has gorgeous skin. I think she could go far.

Bianca -- this picture makes her look pretty modelesque, because when I saw her last week, I thought, "pretty girl, but not a model. more like a 'pretty girl who lives on my block' type of pretty". I hope she makes it to the makeover episode, because I'd love to see her eyebrows filled in (I don't like the pencil-thin look), and see the purple weave get taken out.

Chantal -- another one I hope makes it to the makeovers, because I'd love to see her with different hair. Half the show I was distracted by big blonde hair, and I thought it did nothing for her. I hope they chop it off and dye it a darker shade, because that will bring out her eyes.

Ebony -- I thought she was cute for a few minutes, because in theory, she can be -- she has big eyes and smiles a lot. Then I noticed the 5 o'clock shadow and Michael Jackson voice. YES!!!!! We may finally have a drag queen contestant! I need to find a pic of her in her bikini, to see if I can tell if she's hiding her candy or not. I also need to look for an Adam's apple.

She's already been edited as the "bitch" of the cast, but, what footage they showed us she really didn't seem to be any more of a bitch than any one else. But it looks like Bianca hates her, so there will be DRAAAAAAHMAAAAHHHH!!

Heather -- looks wise, one of my favorites. She *looks* like a model already. She has Asperger's syndrome (syndrome? disorder?), which will make her feel out of place in the house. However, when she was talking about "needing help" from the other girls and mentioning being tall and gangly and awkward, I wasn't sure if she meant it because she looked so gorgeous doing it! She has the total Joey Ramone posture going on though. Oh, and I hope they don't cut that luxorious hair off, but they probably will.

Janet -- She's a bikini waxer! She's also a bit of a hoot. I don't expect her to make it too far, but I like her crazy Southern girl sense of humor.

Jenah -- She came out and said right away, "other girls HATE me" and talked about her male friends, and the cool stuff she does, and how it makes her cooler than other girls. I'd crucify her for it but THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS LIKE until I was about 30. It wasn't that other girls hated me, it was that I hated other girls and wanted my male buddies to myself. I hated when my friends found girlfriends and then I would lose my drinking buddies.

Kimberly -- I don't remember a think about this girl except she has Milla Jovonavich's eyes. Is she the "normal sized" girl or is Sarah? Right now, they're interchangable to me.

Lisa -- She's an exotic "bikini dancer" -- not a stripper -- and she's pretty hot. Part of me thinks she could make it far, but I think she will only make it to the halfway point.

Mila -- This shows the power of photography, because I thought this girl was a mess in person. She really reminded me of a cross between Miss Piggy and a potato. I know, I'm mean, right? She also came in and talked about how happy she is all the time, how she celebrates her birthday, her friend's birthday -- even a new nail color! Okay, then, pass the Ecstasy, Mila. . . when Tyra asked her about being sad, she replied, "No, I think crying is a waste of my time." She will be on the show until she cries, and then she will be cut, but Tyra is going to make her cry, dammit!!!

Saleisha -- She and Heather may be the most gorgeous girls there. This picture does her absolutely no justice (I think it's the pose). I love her heart-shaped face and bit eyes. I hope she does well!

Sarah -- Okay, so *she's* the "normal sized" model. She's bigger than average models, but waaaay to small for plus size. She looks to be about a size 6, nonetheless -- you know, smaller than the average American woman.

Victoria -- She seems to be the most controversial contestant, if you read message boards. Many people think she looks like a horse. She goes to Yale, and is supposed to be sooooper-smart, and is a self-professed nerd, but seems pretty sweet and down to earth. And AWKWARD. She seemed really self-conscious, and that could be her downfall. I think she will be torn between being a brainy nerd, and being a fierce beautiful model, thinking she can't have both.

But who said models aren't smart? Look at Tyra! What -- I didn't say she wasn't NUTS, I just said she wasn't DUMB!

Oh, okay, and what was up with having "Cycle 8 Winner" Jaslene meet with them? The film the new cycle when the last filmed is airing, and the new contesants aren't supposed to know who wins, in case it "leaks out". Oh, they are SO inconsistent!

Okay, and in the "also rans" department: I thought Marvita was pretty homely, but felt bad when Tyra asked her about the "tragedy" in her life, prompting her to tell a story of sexual molestation and abuse. I thought it was tacky and exploitative of Tyra to do this (especially with not picking her). Then I thought about it more, and Tyra's question didn't come out of nowhere -- Marvita probably wrote about it in her application/essay/whatever they have to submit to get on the show. So it seems less exploitative to me, even though it was still uncomfortable to about.

Jennifer, the "BAHtenDAH" from Walpole, MA, was one of the grossest creatures to ever try out. I am so glad I don't have to hear her donkey bray every week. Accent reductions can happen, dude -- I did it, and I come from a pretty Townie place myself.

Whoever that girl was who said she looked like Adriana Lima looked like Adriana Lima with a trout's mouth.

There was a girl from Long Island, Sylvia, who was freakin' adorable and reminded me of a cross between Sophia Coppola and Marisa Tomei. Unfortunately, she didn't make it on.

There was another girl with a messed up name -- Spontaneiose or something. The first words out of my mouth -- "Is that how she was conceived??"

That is all. It's on in 46 minutes -- whoopeee!!!!

4 Comments:

Blogger Bezzie said...

Ha ha! Hm, well then maybe I will watch TV tonite!

8:45 PM  
Blogger Eryn said...

You are such a goof! That is the best breakdown of the models/contenders I have seen!

9:47 PM  
Blogger Macoco said...

I would probably also buy the Reese's shit on a stick. Peanut Butter and Chocolate is just that good. ;)

10:53 AM  
Blogger Sssarahevt said...

okay, glad to see someone else is addicted. It's not wrong.

11:01 PM  

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